Can He Do It?

This is too funny not to share.

Dashing Through the Snow

In a one-dog open sled, through the alley we go, laughing off our heads.

Bundled Up

Santa brought Dexter his first snowsuit. He was warm but nearly immobile (you'll notice that My Bologna was much faster when it came to "come to Mommy").

Swingers

Dexter loves swinging with his Funky Monkey. My Bologna loves to watch Dexter and Funky Monkey swinging. Dexter loves that My Bologna loves to watch him swing with Funky Monkey. It's good times all around.

All I Want For Christmas Are My Two Top Molars

And that's exactly what Dexter got! For the last two nights Dexter has been waking us all up throughout the night. Not sick, not completely miserable, but not his normal sleep-through-the-night self. When he wasn't eating dinner with his usual gusto last night, I looked at his puffy gums and noticed the two top molars had begun to pop through.

Like Father, Like Son

Ben and I got Dexter his first real musical instrument this Christmas - a beautiful powder blue ukelele with a wooden bridge carved into the shape of a dolphin (special order courtesy of Flynn Guitars). Dexter was immediately enthralled and spent the rest of the day carrying it around while he explored other new toys. He didn't let it out of his sight, always wanting it within arm's reach should the urge to play music arise. And the urge did arise - again, and again, and again.

Merry Christmas

Somehow, Santa managed to get all the presents under the tree, fill the stockings, build a wooden rocking chair, and put together a swingset in the living room before Dexter woke up Christmas morning! Dexter was pretty amazed when he saw it all. He wasn't very interested in opening gifts but loved choosing gifts and handing them to us to open.

Christmas Cookie

Dexter enjoyed a homemade, full of sugar, Christmas cookie after polishing off his salmon and green beans Christmas Eve dinner. We enjoyed putting different hats on him while he was busy cramming cookie into his mouth.

Surprise Gift

Grandma and Grampy Fowler sent us a box full of Christmas gifts and I couldn't stop laughing when I opened it and found Dexter's "surprise Christmas gift"! It was even funnier when Ben had no idea what it could be!!! I can't wait until Dexter sees it tomorrow morning (we haven't put any gifts under the tree yet for fear of premature gift unwrapping).

The Hamburglar

My Bologna has never been a fan of the rubber squeaky toys. Dexter, on the other hand, LOVES them!

Santa's Furry Helper

My Bologna loves his annual job of pulling the Christmas tree home.

Greeting Daddy

My Bologna and Dexter get so excited when Daddy comes home from work!

Daddy is Mama

Dexter knows who you're talking about when you say "Daddy" or "Mommy" but in our house, Daddy and Mommy are both "Mama". When you ask Dexter, "where's Daddy?", he runs to Ben and says, "Mama!".

One-Year Check-Up

Dexter had his one year check up yesterday and is on track in all developmental areas. The doctor was happy that we had been feeding him our table scraps, even Mexican, Mediterranean, Chinese, Indian, and Thai foods. She said he could now be introduced to nuts, eggs, and shellfish (and we should watch for allergic reactions, of course). He weighed only 24 lbs - Ben guessed he would be 27 lbs 4 oz and I guessed an even 26 lbs (even though he feels like he weighs 50!). At the same time, he had really sprouted up in height. He now measures 30 1/2 inches long (going from 50th percentile in height to almost 75th). He got a ton of shots (2 in the leg and 1 in the arm) and blood taken from his toe. The blood showed he has plenty of iron (no anemia) and we have to wait a few weeks to find out about the lead levels (which we hope there will NOT be plenty of).

Dexter, a Balloon, a Biscuit, and My Bologna

Singing Happy Birthday to the Boy

And his first taste of cake!

At Ben's Request

Ben wanted to make sure I posted a picture of the whole tractor cake. His wish is my command (thanks to Elissa getting a good shot of it!).

Guilt

I have long believed that guilt is wasted emotional energy and have, until now, done a pretty good job of managing to not waste my emotional energy in this way. However, I'm finding it very difficult these days to cope with those creeping feelings of guilt. For the last couple of weeks I've been working very hard to reach a work deadline while preparing Dexter's first birthday party. I feel tremendous pressure to produce quality work for a lot of reasons, the most salient being that I take pride in my work (always have). That being said, I also very much want to provide Dexter the nurturing and love he deserves as well as truly experience motherhood so that we both have more than just photographs as memories of his early childhood. To top it off I went to the doctor yesterday and he made clear what I already knew - I need to take better care of myself. I'm at a loss as to how to balance these things and remain true to myself. I feel guilty when I'm at home working on the computer and Dexter is fussing for attention. I feel guilty when I have to shift my work schedule so that I can get Dexter to the doctor. And I feel guilty every time I choose coffee over a meal to get me through my day. I think the real fear for me now is realizing that this situation is not just a "crunch" that I can power through but that I am going to have to really figure out a way of living that more or less balances all of these things over the long haul. Wish me luck.

Where's My Nose?

Dexter not only can point out your nose on command but he will enthusiastically stick his little fingers up your nostrils until you pry his tiny hands away from your face.

Tractor Cake!

Dexter's first birthday was a smashing success! Thanks to the A's (the Ewers cousins') superior frosting mixing skills and expert advice, Ben and I were able to realize our dream of making Dexter a tractor cake. Thanks, too, to all of Dexter's friends who could attend. Finally, thanks to my friends for taking photos. Without you I would be left trying to describe the scene in words. And words just wouldn't do it justice. You can see in the photo that Dexter quickly dug into his cupcake (the front tractor wheel).

Cacophany of Cousins

Thankful for Thanksgiving Dinner

It was a quiet Thanksgiving. Messy but quiet.

Tolerance

My Bologna tolerates Dexter but now that he spends most of his day getting chased by Dexter he's not really interested in playing with him, even if he's got Blue Puppy.

Dying-Battery Barney Doesn't Damper Dexter's Delight

Spaghetti Jimmy and Too Big Monkey Feet

Sunday Morning Happy Family Time

Guitar Prodigy

Dexter is a natural with the Bitchcaster - Ben's homemade modified telecaster. He was thrilled to show off his musical skills to Grandma and Gunker!

The Destroyer

When he's quiet, I know he's up to no good.

Empathy

My son is not a sociopath! He proved it to me Wednesday night. I was exhausted and anxious about a presentation I was giving the next morning. Ben was at band practice until late into the night and all I wanted to do was get Dexter to sleep and crawl into bed myself. Sure enough, it was one of those rare nights when Dexy couldn't sleep. From 8:15 - 10:30pm I was running between my bed and his room to comfort him. At one point, I was holding him in his rocking chair and he was inconsolable - tossing his paci clear across the room, screaming and crying, flailing his arms, kicking his legs, the whole enchilada. I couldn't keep it together any longer and just started crying - tears streaming down my face, chest heaving, whimpers and sobs, the whole enchilada. Then I realized that Dexter wasn't crying anymore. I looked down at him in my arms and he was completely still just looking at me with a slightly confused and concerned look on his face. Believe me, this was not the first time I had cried while trying to comfort him. But it was the first time he responded to my emotional state. Eventually he got to sleep. Not long after that My Bologna started puking all over the living room floor and I was out of bed again cleaning the carpet. It was not my night.

Stranger Anxiety

What I had been reading about for months finally happened! Ben's parents arrived Thursday evening for a weekend visit and when they rang the doorbell Dexter was playing in the living room. They enthusiastically went to Dexter and, at first, he seemed very excited to see Gunker (Ben's dad). Ben looks and sounds a lot like his dad so I think Dexy thought it was his Daddy coming to get him. But when Gunker picked Dexy up, he got a good look at Gunker and the expression on his face went from excited happy to terrified sad. Meanwhile, Grandma was approaching to say hi and Dexter was having none of it. He was screaming and crying, pushing his poor grandparents away, his wide eyes darting around the room seeking Mommy. He calmed down when I took him into my arms but he still was wary of Grandma and Gunker, looking around and crying when he caught sight of them. This only lasted a few minutes, after which he quickly warmed up to them.

I know this is going to sound evil but it was hilarious. It was also comforting and rewarding (for me) to experience this normal attachment behavior. Let's hope his birthday party doesn't traumatize him too much!!

Tuesday Night Double Feature, Part II

Walking the walk.

Tuesday Night Double Feature, Part I

DJ Dexter working the boards.

On Par

These days, Dexter and My Bologna both:

• Enthusiastically give sloppy, wet kisses to Mommy
  
• Enjoy their daily walks and romps on the floor with Daddy
• Love getting their hair brushed by Mommy
• "Ask" for their dinners and whine when they want attention
• Get their poop picked up and deposited in a plastic bag
  
• Give "high 5's" on command
• Partake in an afternoon biscuit (usually each his own but there has also been plenty of biscuit sharing)
• Speak monosyllabically
• "Come" to Mommy when asked
• Pilfer food off of Mommy's and Daddy's plates
• Stop in their tracks when they hear a sternly spoken "no"
  

Developmental Burst

In the past 24 hours, Dexter has started "walking", waving, and clapping hands. All this despite a bad cold and no afternoon naps. If he starts speaking with real words tomorrow I'm going to freak. Does this mean he's now a toddler and not my baby anymore?

Restricted Access

Dexter now realizes that there are things to explore on the other side of closed doors and baby gates and if we leave one open (even for a minute) he makes a mad dash for uncharted territory then has a fit when he's returned to his restricted access area.

Mommy Moment

It was the kind of thing I had heard about and yet refused to believe it would happen to me. But yesterday I experienced what I've heard others describe as a "mommy moment". I had to take Dexter out to the toy store so I put on my coat and put Dexter's coat on him then carried him out to the car with my wallet and car keys in my hands. I put the wallet on the hood of the car and used the keys to unlock the car door, leaving them in the car door lock until I got Dexy fastened into his car seat. When Dexter was settled, I got the keys out of the door, started the car, and drove about a mile until I realized I didn't have my wallet with me! Where had I put it? Mentally retracing my steps, my eyes caught a glimpse of the wallet - still on the hood of the car! Great. That's my life now...driving my wallet around town on the hood of my car.

Getting Down With Elmo

Baby Steps

Tonight Dexter pushed his wagon across the room, turned around, and walked - unassisted - six steps into the middle of the room. Without any hesitation! Like he'd been walking all his life! He fell when he tripped on a toy.

Trick or Treat

Daddy bringing Dexter home from trick or treating (My Bologna greeting us with lots of barking).

Happy Halloween

I present...The Turtle!

What Was I Thinking?!

I'm making myself miserable with my plans to make a home-made Halloween costume for Dexter. My mother made our costumes when we were young so I had a fantasy that I could manage to be some kind of supermom while working full-time. I had the idea to make a turtle costume because Dexy reminded us of a turtle when he was born. We bought a wide, shallow, green bowl at Target and I thought Ben could drill some holes in it and we could attach to his back using elastic (that I also bought). Then I bought a bunch of green material to cover his body and make a hood for his head and "flippers" for his hands and feet. I am at the point now where I have a green bowl full of work papers on my desk and some green material cut out in the shape of Dexter's body. I don't how I'm ever going to pull it off. My good friend Elissa was kind enough to bring me her son's first Halloween costume from last year (a lion) "just in case" I don't get it together and finish the turtle costume. In my mind, Dexter is saying in this photo, "Mommy, I thought you were going to make me a turtle costume." Where did this guilt come from?!

Da Da

Dexter uttered his first (and much anticipated) Da Da yesterday! He said it to me but Ben was there and we both were thrilled.

After Dinner Drinks

Now that Dexter has mastered self-feeding, he's working on feeding his dinner to My Bologna. Needless to say, My Bologna is Dexter's best friend at dinnertime. Dexy likes to wash down his meal with big gulps of refreshing water from his sippycup.

Bursting at the Seams

There's not much that's funnier than when a diaper full of pee pee pops the crotch snaps.

One Small Step...

Yesterday, Dexter took his very first unaccompanied step when he "walked" from Ben to me. We were sitting about 3 feet apart and he only needed to take one step to get from Ben to me but he did it! Tentatively, purposefully, and proudly, Dexter took his first step.

Mister Press-It

Dexter is busily mastering pushing buttons. Yesterday, I went to get him out of his car seat and he was pushing on the red release button with his index finger. He knew it would release his harness but luckily he's not yet strong enough to get it on his own.

Bad Mommy?

Yesterday afternoon I had a two-hour conference call with other researchers and federal government bureaucrats to kick off a project involving culling youth development theories, developing a framework for synthesizing existing knowledge and practices, and coming up with ways for federal agencies to work with each other to share knowledge and best-practices in their programs (easier said than done - and it's not that easy to say!). 20 minutes into the meeting, Dexter woke up screaming from his nap (luckily I had figured out how to work the "mute" button on the phone). I was unable to quiet Dexter and remain engaged in the conversation so for the next hour and a half I fed him...and fed him...and fed him. As long as he was eating, he was quiet. As long as he was quiet, I could hear the conversation. Do you see where I'm going with this? I've never seen him eat so much for so long. I felt so guilty for not being able to fully engage with Dexy and for not being able to fully engage with my work. I just hope Dexter doesn't develop some sort of association with food as a substitute for my love.

Indian Summer

Following a brisk morning, the sun emerged and spread its warmth across Chicago. By this afternoon, the temperature was a perfect 68 degrees. Dexter and I took full advantage with a walk in the park where we visited the ducks and swung in the swing. He couldn't have been any cuter in the handmade sweater that a friend brought back from Chile for him (thanks again Carolina!). I forgot the camera when we were frolicking in the park but remembered to get a shot of him when we got home.

Rings Aren't Balls

More (unsuccessful) attempts to move other objects through his train.

Who Cares?

I may be the only one who cares about Dexter's emerging teeth but I'm not going to let that stop me from sharing the news anyway. I'm announcing the arrival of tooth number 8 (bottom right, next to the middle).

The Back-Saver

Dexter has been all about walking using our fingers as supports. This has caused tremendous strain on our already aching backs. We ordered the Radio Flyer Push Wagon thinking it would replace us as his means of transport. It arrived in pieces in a box that had a picture of a hammer, a wrench, 2 screwdrivers, and a pair of pliers indicating that this would be no simple snap-together construction. Ben and I spend a half hour on Thursday night putting it together and introduced it to him yesterday. He likes it but still prefers to grab onto our fingers and cruise around the house. So much for saving our backs...

More of the Buckethead

He's still at it!

The Avon Baby

Gears Clogging Gears

Good effort at putting things in things but this thing just clogged the gears of that thing.

Clarification

I've gotten enough complaints about not posting Dexter's weight that I feel compelled to correct my previous post's omission (which was completely unintentional by the way). For those who are interested, Dexter weighed 23 pounds, 6 ounces and was a smidge under 29 inches long at last Friday's doctor appointment.

He's With the Band

Musical Morning

A musical morning on a rainy fall day.

No Surprises

Today's doctor visit brought no surprises. Dexter is at the same percentages as always on the growth chart: 50th percentile length, 75th percentile weight and head circumference. She recommended continuing to feed him table scraps (as she put it!) as much as possible. I bet My Bologna wishes she was HIS doctor!

Not Exactly

But good effort!

Teething Chair?

He Did It Again

Yesterday another tooth poked through - next to the bottom middle on the left. The left one isn't far behind - I'll be surprised if we don't see it tomorrow.

Quackers

Race to Mommy

My Bologna won.

Something New for Elissa

He figured out how to turn this thing on and take the balls out on the day he got it. Today, it's all about putting the balls back in. I can't believe how fast he's learning.

Baby Gate

Doing time.

On the Move

Getting Back Down

Standing was a milestone but, as Ben and I quickly realized, getting back down from standing was just as important! After two nights of Dexter waking us up in the middle of the night or not napping because he was stuck standing in his crib, yesterday I watched him teach himself how to get back down. He can now very easily drop down from standing onto his butt or move his legs back, reach forward with one hand, and eventually let go of the other hand, dropping to a crawling position on the floor. Hallelujah!

World Music Festival

Dexter and I went down to Millenium Park and enjoyed Daddy's noontime gig with Rocambu Jazz at the Pritzker Pavillion in Millenium Park.

Step-Ladder to Disaster

I suddenly noticed that we had inadvertently built a step-ladder to disaster for Dexter.

Rapid Fire

This week has been amazing in terms of Dexter's development. It has been days and days of quick discovery, experimentation, and mastery. He's pulling himself to standing everywhere, all the time. I found him today in his crib - standing! He pushes a ball back to me, turns toys on by himself, has stopped choking on the sippy cup. He's constantly babbling. I think the only word he says that is connected to any meaning in our world is Mmm Buff for My Bologna. He's creative and finds alternative ways of getting what he wants - a toy on a cardboard box, just out of arms reach, and he notices that if he hits the box, the toy moves. So he hits the box until the toy vibrates right over to him. This is really a wonderful thing to witness. I'm amazed by him everyday.

Baby Dangers

Dexter loves to play with the audio/video components and powertools!