Monday, July 19, 2010

What Is Sharing?

I've noticed that when playing with other people Dexter loves to hand out toys or objects. Sometimes he fixates on one individual and they receive a bounty from him. For example, one recent day in the park, Dexter noticed a woman sitting by herself at a picnic table and began bringing her wood chips from the play area. One by one, back and forth, he carried and offered wood chips to this wonderfully patient and receptive woman until she could no longer hold any in her hands and Dexter and I had to leave for dinner. In cases like this, I think Dexter is offering a connection, making a friend. At other times, Dexter seems to offer objects as a means of orchestrating the action. This happens at Wiggleworms when the shakers, bells, and tambourines come out and Dexter hands them out to his fellow Wiggleworms and their parents. At these times, Ben and I get lots of comments from other parents about what a good "sharer" Dexter is. And while my mouth is saying "thank you", my mind is saying, "this ain't sharing, this is directing". I suppose this distinction will become more apparent as Dexter's social interactions become more complex.