Supporting Mommy After a Rough Start

I was excited for my orientation to graduate school. It felt like I was finally embarking on this journey that I had been thinking about for so many years. I thought I had planned well for the day, looking on the campus map on line to locate where the building was on campus and giving myself an hour and a half to make the trip from home to Evanston.  Alas, as time ticked by and I was stuck in traffic, it became clear that I would not likely make the 9:15 start time for the day's activities. Construction, car accident, construction, construction, and construction - all during morning rush hour.  I was cursing myself for not starting earlier. It look me almost 2 hours to get to campus at which point I realized that I had no clue where to park.  I drove down all the surrounding streets and eventually parked in a two-hour spot despite the 6 hours of events planned for the day. Only 5 minutes late.  OK, not so bad.  Until I realized I couldn't find the building where I needed to be and nobody I asked along the way had any idea either.  Tears welled as I anxiously wandered. Eventually I made it to right building and went into the large auditorium only to find that all the seats were full. I sat on steps in the aisle and tried to pull myself together. When the Dean told the crowd of eager young graduate students, "You are the brightest of the bright and you made the right decision to come to Northwestern," the evil voice in my head said, "You don't belong here, Jiffy.  You couldn't even find parking."  Now the tears were actually falling. In public. I managed to make it through one breakout session where a woman was enthusiastically describing the "clusters" that we could participate in, saying that they can serve as a bridge between all our PhD programs and provide the opportunity for interdisciplinary collaborations. It was all very exciting until she started talking about the informal meeting hours, cocktail parties, and group outings that are part of the process.  I just couldn't imagine how I was going to make that happen with all of my family responsibilities.  Defeated again.  I left the orientation, cried all the way home, and crawled into bed.  Ben was surprised to find me home so early and was clearly concerned that I was curled up in a ball sobbing under the covers.  He kept asking "what happened?" I couldn't find the energy to explain how overwhelmed I was feeling and could only manage to say, "I couldn't find parking."

Ben helped me rally and the next weekend, we all went up to Northwestern to scope out the campus and parking situation. Dexter got to visit with a big cow in the student center. It made me feel so much better to get my bearings and Ben and Dexter made me feel so supported.  "We're at Mommy's school!" I'm reminded again that I am a very lucky woman.

Peeing Like My Bologna

Dexter let me know that he had to pee right before Daddy went on stage at the festival.  I took him to the porta-potties where he absolutely refused to go. I asked all the event staff I could find if there was another place I could take him to go to the bathroom.  No dice. Dexy managed to make it through Daddy's set (distracted by seeing Daddy play) after which we went backstage and helped Daddy pack up in record time.  Dexter insisted he wanted to wait to pee until we got home but as we started on Lake Shore Drive, he started making whining sounds and I knew there was no way he was going to make it.  We pulled off Lake Shore Drive and found a Walgreen's. Dexy refused to go in the Walgreen's so we just had him pull down his pants and lean against a tree in the parking lot.  As he was doing his business, he shouted, "I'm peeing like My Bologna!"

Night Shades

Dexter has a bunch of sunglasses that he has accumulated over the years. In his OCD fashion, he has determined that different sunglasses are for different occasions or circumstances. For some reason, the tacky ladies' sunglasses that he picked out in a drug store last year are for "night time".

Dexter had the opportunity to wear his "night shades" at Daddy's festival gig last night.  It didn't seem to matter to him that the sunglasses made everything darker...he enjoyed watching Daddy play and gave him "lots of good claps."

All Access Pass

Dexter got to hang out behind the stage before Daddy went on with James Curley's band last night. He loved watching the other band play from back there.

And he loved watching musicians from the other bands hang out and get their gear together. As Dave was pulling his drums out of their bags, Dexter excited shouted, "Look! A drum tower!"

Maze Craze

Many kids' menus have activities printed on them and Dexter's favorite is always the maze.  If the menu doesn't have a maze, I have to create one for him.  He's addicted.  His approach is to use one crayon to find his way all the way through the maze.  Then he asks Daddy and/or Mommy to do it using the same crayon. Then he uses a different color crayon and has Daddy and/or Mommy do it with that crayon, and so on and so forth. Here he is with Daddy at dinner last night doing the maze.

Four on the Floor

Dexter and I dropped Daddy off and picked him up from work yesterday because the timing of his evening festival gig made coming home between work and the gig impossible.

When we picked Daddy up at work, Dexter got to play the drums. Despite the stool being higher than the one with his drum kit at home, Dexter managed to reach the bass drum pedal and put down "four on the floor" while banging away with the sticks.

In addition to keeping a pretty decent beat on the bass drum, he made full use of every drum and symbol available.

Negotiating Relationships: Step 1 - Use Words

Dexter had an impromptu play date with Ellerie and Reid on Friday.  It gave Dexter a chance to show off Railroad City and the "cars" in the basement as well as his favorite local park.  It also gave me a chance to see that Dexter's class of five other boys and one girl may not be providing him with enough diversity when  it comes to interacting with others.  He was pretty rough and I needed to remind him that he needed to be more gentle with Reid who is much smaller than he is and that he needed to use words to let Ellerie know what he wanted rather than dragging her around.

"But I want to hold her hand!"

"I understand, so you should let her know that's what you want and ask nicely if she wants to do that too."

"Ellerie, um, can I please hold your hand?"

"Sure!"

Thank you, Ellerie, for making that lesson an easy one!  How to deal with rejection will have to wait for another day. The kids ended up looking like a little family with Ellerie and Dexter pushing home Reid in his stroller.

Back to School

After a summer of asking when he would be going to school again, Dexter finally attended the first day of Blue Buddies on Monday.  He was so excited to see his teachers (same as last year) and be in the classroom.  He also recognized some friends from last year and quickly made new friends as well. 

Telling the Wedding Story at the Signature Room

Just like last year, Dexter got to hear Mommy and Daddy tell the story of their wedding day. He seemed more interested in the food and the view than the story but he didn't interrupt our telling of it.

Dexter recognized Navy Pier (and the Ferris Wheel) and Lake Shore Drive from the 95th floor. He got very excited to see swimming pools on top of buildings below us. Still, I think his favorite part was really the parking garage - we had to go round and round and up and up in tight circles.

Dexter got soup, yogurt, and rolls to start.  He ate some lemon blueberry pancakes and sausage. Dexy finished off his meal with a bowl of ice cream with sprinkles ("more sprinkles, please") and whipped cream. Thanks Grandma and Gunker for the anniversary gift - it financed the creation of these special memories.

Six Years and Counting

On our sixth wedding anniversary, we decided to splurge on brunch at the John Hancock building - the same place where we held our post-wedding meal all those years ago.  The weather was exactly the same as it was on our wedding day - warm with a gentle, cool breeze, bright blue sky dotted with fluffy white clouds. This time, Dexter was around to enjoy the view.

Front End Loaded

 

So nice that they are still happy to hold hands!

Little Starsky & Hutch?

That's what Ben said when he saw this photo of Dexter and Ian.

Attempted Rescue

 Dexter struggled to get positioned in the fire truck. He refused to acknowledge the offer of assistance from a firefighter who was just trying to keep the line of kids moving.  Eventually he got himself up there.

Touching Trucks

An hour after Dexter and Daddy attended the car show, Dexter and I were headed to a northern suburb to attend a "touch a truck" event with our friends Elissa and Ian. Dexter got to sit in six trucks:
Ambulance (sooooo many switches!)

Garbage Truck (the operator showed him how to push the pedals but he freaked out when she showed him the air brake and jumped right out!)

Police Car ("driving" a bunch of toddler criminals in the back)

Street Sweeper (anyone who has followed the blog knows that this was the highlight for Dexy!)

School bus (he went straight to the last seat, just like the time we went on a school field trip and we all sat together in the last seat)

Backhoe (when he said he wanted to ride the backhoe, I stood in line at a vehicle for 5 minutes only to be corrected by Dexy - when it was his turn to get in - that it was a frontloader, not a backhoe, and he refused to get in - he then showed me where the backhoe was and waited in line for that!)

Fire Truck (it was quite a production getting in but he was a natural once he was up there)

City Pick Up Truck (I'm still not sure why he was so gung-ho about this one but he loved it)

Getting Their Kicks on Route 66

Yesterday morning, before Ben went to work, he took Dexter to the Route 66 Car Show. They had a blast.  Dexter saw a three wheeled car ("the three wheeled car has a small engine.") and got to sit in a hot rod ("the hot rod has a really big engine that sticks out!").

Potty Progress

Ever since Dexy and I got back from Maine and I knew we'd have a period of relative stability before school started for the both of us, Ben and I decided the time was right for Dexter to make the switch from diapers to big boy underpants at night.  While Dexy had been great with pee pee during the days, we noticed that he was waiting until his bedtime diaper to do his poops. So, we embarked on the messy and sleep-disturbing endeavor of transitioning to full time big boy underpants.  In some ways, it felt similar to the early months when we didn't get much sleep but this time, instead of being woken by him, we were setting the alarm for all hours of the night to get up and check to see if he needed to go potty (one night, Dexter slept through going pee on the potty while Daddy and Mommy did all the lifting and manoeuvring but mostly he resisted).  Every night we would talk with him about getting Mommy or Daddy if he needs to go potty in the middle of the night and every morning we would wake up to Dexter announcing, "I'm a little bit wet."

During this period, Dexter suddenly announced that he wanted to pee "standing up like a big man".  I suspect he did this in order to avoid going poop on the potty by accident when he went peeps but it's a real blessing - it is so easy for him to go pee pee in public restrooms now!

Thursday morning I was up before 5am getting dressed in our front room and was startled by Dexter when I came back into the living room.  He was standing in pitch dark and said, "I have to go pee pee standing up."  Not wanting to get my hopes up, I ran to him to feel if he was wet and he was completely dry! As he stood peeing into the potty, he was pretty proud of himself (I was beaming).  Almost the same thing happened the next day (dry for 2 nights in a row!) and then, that evening, he pooped on the potty!! Alas, the dry streak ended this morning when he woke up a "little bit wet".  Still, progress shows we're moving in the right direction.  I'm just looking forward to sleeping through the night again one of these days.

Accumulating Cultural Capital

I had a noontime meeting downtown last Wednesday.  As luck would have it, Wednesdays are "free days" at the Art Institute so Ben and I decided to spend some time before my meeting exploring the museum with Dexter.  He did NOT want his picture taken in front of the building.

Dexy blew through most of the exhibits, barely noticing the art (except one installation - a big pile of wrapped candies on the floor in the corner of the modern wing). However, when he heard the beautiful sounds of a harp wafting down a long corridor, he  practically fell into a trance.

Dexter didn't want to get a picture with the lion (I had mentioned that they were rigged to roar when people got too close).







That evening, when we asked Dexter what he liked best about the museum, he said the miniatures (the exhibit of mostly American and European period miniature rooms) and the harp. He still talks about wanting to play the harp (we'll need a bigger house!).

There's No Wrong Way to Eat a Sno-Cone

 Both boys wanted a Sno-Cone after the bobsled ride.  I didn't want anything in my tummy. Dexter devoured his by chomping, licking, sucking through a straw, and shoveling with a spoon on the end of his straw.

I loved seeing the little old Italian ladies dolled up in their red dresses, sandals, and panty hose. On the other hand, Dexter and Daddy were engrossed in the delightful, refreshing enjoyment of eating their Sno-Cones.

Upgrade

After the relatively tame ATV ride, Dexter rode the bobsled with us.

Dexy sat with Daddy and I sat in the car in front of them so I could get pictures.  Thank God I was focused on them because I would have thrown up if I took my eyes off of them we were going around and around so fast.

Dexter loved every minute of it. My back hated every minute of it (and every minute since).

The Brown ATV That Does Jumps

Dexter also rode a ride all by himself at the festival for the Virgin Mary. 

I think his recollection of it afterwards ("My brown ATV went REALLY fast and did BIG jumps!") was influenced by his excitement and anxiety about riding the ride all by himself. In reality, it went pretty slowly and there were barely any bumps let alone jumps.

Celebrating the Virgin Mary on a Ferris Wheel

This weekend, there is a festival for the Virgin Mary being held in our town. It's been giving me flaskbacks to hot, open window summers living in the North End of Boston where every weekend there was a festival for a different saint and the same band playing the same song for each one..."oh when the saints, oh when the saints, oh when the saints go marching in."

Anyway, on Friday Dexter noticed the huge ferris wheel in the school parking lot and asked if he could go on it. Yesterday, we had the opportunity to celebrate Dexter's poop on the potty AND the Virgin Mary by riding that ferris wheel!

We all went and Dexter was a little nervous at first (I was a little nervous throughout) but soon he enjoyed picking out the familiar sights in town from this new perspective.

Sous Chef

 Dexter has become a real asset in the kitchen.  He loves to help prepare foods (measuring, counting, mixing, not cutting and cooking).  This summer, Dexter and I have gotten into the habit of going to a local farmer's market early Saturday mornings (letting Daddy sleep in a little bit). This week we got blueberries and we decided to try to make a blueberry pie.




Sunday morning, Dexter went through every single blueberry pulling off stems and doing quality control ("blueberries that aren't good go in the not good bowl"). Then he helped measure the blueberries (turns out we were a cup short after QC so I decided to chop up an apple and throw that in as well) and mix them with the other ingredients.  Then he put the pie crust in the pan, filled the crust with the blueberry filling, and, after Mommy cut the second pie crust into strips, helped create a lattice-ish pattern across the top of the pie. We had the pie after dinner last night and it was delicious!