Hurricane Dexter

The power struggles with Dexter have begun. While Ben and I are happy to not have a wet noodle of a child, we are trying to figure out how best to foster Dexy's agency without breaking his spirit and still guiding him towards socially-acceptable behaviors. The most recent manifestation of this was around Dexter's books. Dexy has a bookshelf in his room and a few weeks ago he decided that rather than nap, he would pile all of his books onto the floor of his room and run around on top of the big pile. For a few days we explained that this was not the way to treat books and made him help us put them back in the bookshelf. But the big pile of books continued. Next, we tried to make Dexter clean them up all by himself. He wasn't happy but complied. Still, the pile of books continued. Finally, we gave him the choice: Whichever books you put into a big pile on the floor are going away until you learn how to properly treat them. Sure enough, Dexter chose to make a big pile and we brought in a bag and put all the books from the floor into the bag. We explained to Dexy that these were going away because he didn't treat them properly and we would give them back in three days if he didn't make any more big piles of books on the floor (he still had some on the bookshelf that we left in his room). Dexter did a great job of not making a big pile of books and got a lot of praise from Mommy and Daddy until after nap on the third day, right before he would have gotten his books back, Hurricane Dexter hit. When I walked into the room, before I could say anything, Dexter said, "Get a bag, Mommy." He had trashed his whole room! Table on his bed, stuffed animals everywhere, and every single book on the floor. Now, we make him clean it all up before he can leave the room. The nap-time destruction continues but now he does the post-nap reconstruction. Interestingly, he hasn't put a book on the floor since and declares proudly, "I didn't take any books off!" each morning and when we get him out from nap.